Who are you (becoming)?

Photo by  Keegan Houser  on  Unsplash

Do you have a friend who is primarily happy? Or fun? Busy? Lucky? Unlucky? Friendly? Anxious? Healthy? Ailing? Depressed? Thriving? Overwhelmed? Freespirited? Prosperous? The opposite of prosperous? Brave? Fearful? Loving? Insecure?

Look at that friend. How do they communicate with others, what do they put out there, how do they represent themselves? How do they show up and expect things to show up for them in the world. What words do they use? What phrases do they repeat?

Are they practiced at the extremes, the disempowering “never” and “always,” “can’t,” “should,” “have to,” or “it’s the story of my life” kinds of word-using people, or are they the “look forward to,” “happy to,” “free to,” “get to,” “love to,” “sometimes,” “thrilled and excited to,” “I remember how it was in the past, but now” types of empowered-thought people?

You can tell from what people say about themselves and how they communicate with others, the kinds of thoughts they have, and have regularly. Thoughts about themselves, the world around them, their potential and other people.

 Because beliefs are thoughts you repeat, and therefore that are patterns, you can also tell from the well-worn phrases that people use, what their beliefs are. Beliefs about who they are, what they deserve and how their lives will go.

And have you noticed, because words are the emissaries of thoughts and beliefs, they also convey expectations – and therefore, often – specific circumstances that match those expectations? And don’t expectations typically come to fruition, unless you’re kidding yourself or completely surprised?

So, whether she is conscious of it or not, your friend who is always sick, thinks thoughts about being sick. Repeatedly. Then she talks about being sick. And then being sick shows up in her life. When you’re with her, after a while, don’t you find yourself finding a reason to leave or change the topic, because you no longer want to talk about being sick?

The same is true for how your friends who are happy, fearful, brave, overwhelmed, lucky and prosperous think on a regular basis. How they come across, what they talk about and how they talk about it, is exactly what they think about and expect to be true for them and about the world and how it works.

And naturally, it’s true for you too.

For example, if you’ve not experienced vast prosperity in your own experience but you have seen the evidence of it in other people’s lives, it’s likely you’re thinking that you aren’t prosperous, but other people are.

If you have this thought and you think it repeatedly, what’s your worldview going to be?

What will your primary expectation be for yourself and others?

What evidence supporting this thought will you be likely to see throughout your experience?  

It’s probably evidence that reinforces the reality you expect, which is the reality that occurs, which reinforces your expectation, the evidence of which reinforces your thought: I’m not prosperous, but other people are. A cycle.

And at the heart of it: I AM. (Or I AM not).

Saying I AM is the most basic way of saying who you are – of defining your identity. Anytime you say I AM, you are affirming whatever comes after it.

Are you aware of what you are saying about who you are?

About what you are thinking about who you are?

Because it’s what you are, whether you know it or not. Language takes thoughts and makes them stronger, because when you voice a thought, you give it energy. It becomes more. It becomes bigger.

When you think and say the same thought again, you are again feeding it energy. It grows. It begins to take shape. It becomes. And if it’s about me and who You ARE, it’s particularly important. Because it starts to become you.

And because feeling follows thought, what you are thinking ends up in what you are feeling. Saying what you are thinking reinforces it. Adding I AM adds more juice to it.

So doesn’t it make sense to be aware of what you are thinking and saying? Because it’s how you ultimately feel, and then it’s who you become.

How can you be more aware, and therefore more deliberate, about what you put out there into the universe? About what you think and feel and say, and therefore, what becomes? About who You become? 

Take one day. Notice and document what you think, feel and say. Don’t judge, just notice. Become aware.

From a place of awareness, you can choose how to move forward. You can choose. Without awareness, there is no ability to choose. You can only respond.

Because you are the person who does the thinking of who you are – because you are the Who, who creates and receives the thoughts of you, who adds energy to your own becoming by repeating and saying those and affirming those thoughts and feelings – you are the person who can begin to shape who you are by what you think, say, feel and become.

Only you are in control of your thoughts, of your thinking, and therefore, you are in control of your feeling and saying and becoming. And what you think, and all of the patterns and practicing of your thinking, like grooves a well-traveled dirt road, is what you become.

If you don’t like what you think – about yourself or anything or anyone else – you do have the opportunity, with every thought, to choose something you like better. You can choose the path of your own becoming, one thought at a time.

There are more than 50,000 waking moments in a day, moments just waiting to be filled up with thought.

So what - Who - are you going to choose to become?