When I was a brand new executive, I was super excited, I had tons of ideas, and I felt jazzed to dive right into the pool–to lead, leverage my experience and my strategic mind at the helm of a great organization. I went in, full-force.
Immediately, I immersed myself in listening, assessing, learning, and experimenting. What was required for success? What did we have, and what were we missing? My team and I examined and made choices about what we were offering, how we were going to make and spend money, cultivate donors, manage the team and the board, rebuild trust and create community, foster partnerships, attract resources, and run a cultural facility.
There were so many challenges, so many opportunities, and so many ideas contributed by so many generous people about how we could do all of these things. It was overwhelming and beautiful, with constantly changing and moving parts, (good and bad) surprises, and 100%-all-the-time learning. I loved it.
But after a few months, I hit a wall. I realized that I needed help sorting through and prioritizing the what, who, how, and when. I was afraid of asking for help, especially as a new executive, because I worried it would make me look weak or ineffective, or come across as less-than-confident.
I couldn’t talk to my board (my “boss”) about what I didn’t feel we (or I) could do well, or where I felt insecure as a leader or around certain management areas. I also couldn’t tell the team about the deep worries I had about whether we were on a path to success, where I suspected we were failing, and how I wasn’t sure we were going to make it all work.
I couldn’t overburden my mentors, friends, and family with too much about what I was going through, or my deep anxiety about how I felt I was failing the people I’d committed to lead.
I overcompensated for these worries by presenting myself and the situation in the rosiest possible terms, with a lot of confidence, and then by isolating myself to manage my worries–aka “handling” things by myself.
It was a very lonely situation.
About that same time, a very successful friend approached me with an idea to launch a bootcamp for new executive directors, to help them with the things no one teaches you before you take that role. Being a new exec, who had been feeling how I’d been feeling (although I wouldn’t admit that to anyone out loud), I said, wow, please promise me you’ll do it, because it’s going to help so many people (and I hope it could help me).
She asked if I would help her think through things, and to attend the sessions, to give her feedback on how the content landed, and to get a sense of how people were responding to the program.
Then she asked me if I would coach a couple of individuals in the cohort. “You have the background, expertise, and a grounding in strategy. Plus you’re a leader yourself.”
Wait, what’s a coach and what would that mean I’d be doing?
She said, you’d hold space for a leader. You’d listen, hear what they’re going through, what their goals are, and provide them with strategic guidance, feedback, and support. You’d help them set a path forward and help them navigate that path. You’d help them know they’re not alone, and that they can do what they’ve set out to do. You’d help them figure things out, since it’s much harder to do all of this as an “inside job” while leading.
What? Wow.
Naturally, I said yes. After all, this was exactly the help I’d wanted as a leader. It felt like paying it forward to support another executive in this way.
And it’s in coaching that I found my jam–-because I know how lonely leadership is. I know what it’s like to want a thought partner and a sounding board. I know how hard leaders are on themselves, and how they don’t always (usually) see where they are succeeding, let alone cheer for what they’ve accomplished.
That’s both why I coach, and why I work with a business coach myself. Because coaching works.
Here are 3 reasons I’ll never again work or live without a coach:
1. Accountability.
At the Kennedy Center, I learned that the difference between a strategic plan and a strategic wish is that a strategic plan has a) concrete deliverables, b) a deadline and c) a person responsible for each deliverable.
Because I have a service-based business, it’s easy for me to prioritize my clients 100% of the time, because I love the work and I adore my clients. But being in constant response-mode means putting in the back seat my own growth as a business owner and as a person, and the growth of my business.
As an experienced strategist, it’s obvious that response-mode isn’t productive, and it doesn’t continue to help me better serve my clients. But when I commit to my growth, everything about my work, my life, and my business improves.
That’s where my coach steps in. Working with a coach gives me a container where I can do my own inner work and provides a structure where I’m accountable to follow through on my commitment to strategic, proactive actions, both for myself and my business. My coach helps me ensure I am accountable not only for clients’ results, but also for my own. And it’s awesome.
2. Thought partnership.
As a leader, you are seeing and doing your work up-close, and often the daily demands of the role are enough to keep you immersed in short-term thinking and priorities. But short-term problem solving can feel endless and cause burnout and exhaustion, fast.
A business coach is your thought partner. They can help you see, understand, plan, anticipate, respond, gather insights, and recalibrate.
Coaching thought partnership can address a variety of topics, such as:
Finding your way out of short-term thinking and doing (such as the payroll example above)
Preparing for difficult conversations
Working through personally challenging or high-stakes periods and transitions
Refocusing on what’s important, or helping you clarify or reclaim your purpose
Helping you move through feeling stuck
I’ve partnered with clients on:
Entering a new role or tier of management
Preparing for a promotion
Launching or scaling a new project or venture
Team building, management, and engagement
Fundraising strategy and donor stewardship
Board growth and engagement
Storytelling, communications strategy, planning, message development
Audience, stakeholder, and business development
Earned revenue strategy
Personal branding and strategic network-building
Personal or organizational mission
Theory of change
Time management
Negotiation
High-impact event or retreat design
Working through old beliefs or patterns and creating more productive, effective ones to replace them
Some clients approach me for project-based support, for example to launch a new initiative. Others have goals best served by a medium- or long-term partnership, as it takes time to test an idea, get results, or achieve change.
3. Perspective.
This is the magic of coaching. Unlike a business plan, which is static, a coach looks at the dynamic intersection of strategy, the leader, environment, outcomes, and how the leader feels about what transpires.
Often, leaders hold high (often impossibly high!) expectations for themselves and their teams, and then blame themselves for what they perceive are negative outcomes.
I love bringing an outside perspective to coaching, where I can wonder, notice, and ask questions to help a leader get to the heart of what’s happening, visibly and under the radar. My job is not to dictate the way forward or give advice, but to help reveal new perspectives and ideas, to engage creativity and possibility, in order to reveal a new level of understanding, spark clarity, and support the leader along the path forward.
We examine what’s happening, how and why it’s happening that way. We identify other forces at play, and discover what the leader might not be able to see–including what they are or are not doing–and how that also impacts the outcomes.
We troubleshoot and problem-solve from this new clarity, generating ideas and forming plans or experiments to test before the next session.
Sessions typically end with clients feeling a mixture of relief, excitement, and readiness to act on the new clarity or pathway–which pumps me up, too!
I’d love to hear more about what’s on your mind about coaching. Has a coach helped you? What topic would you like to tackle with a coach? Please share in the comments.