Completed tasks = an epic week!
It feels good to slay the to-do list and see tangible progress.
But how do you mark your progress when you’re doing not just the visible, but also the inner work? Inner work is a huge part of my practice, and every day, it brings something new to my attention.
Today started out with me feeling very emotional. I decided instead of pushing through - as I had been used to doing for years - I could and would allow the feelings to come. I chose to allow them to flow, and I stepped back to appreciate them for the gifts and messages they had to share with me in that moment.
This is my fifth year of meditation and mindset work, which I do daily using the Meditation on Twin Hearts and other mindfulness practices. Twin Hearts asks meditators to remember and share loving-kindness consciously, flowing it toward mother Earth and fellow human beings. Today my practice reminded me that in addition to sharing loving-kindness with others and with our planet, I can practice it toward myself. That’s exactly what I needed to do today, and I allowed myself to receive that inspiration.
This meant taking a break on the Doing, and getting into practicing Being.
I gave it a try. First, I practiced being loving and kind toward myself. I allowed myself to see my wholeness and completeness, just as I am. For being, not for doing.
I let it sink in, and then came to the insight: Wow. I AM.
And that was enough for me, in this moment, today.
To be *that* I AM.
To have the awareness of that fullness of me - was different. It felt so whole, so present.
This insight put things in perspective and created a sense of timelessness for me today. Suddenly, I was not in a hurry, not impatiently wanting everything to come together, to get resolved, to move ahead.
I was content, just to be. And to not need or want anything else in that moment...
Not being or wanting - especially not being or wanting to try and control a situation - is a new thing for me.
I am a learner, and often, I learn so I can do better, and do it faster, more efficiently, better. My to-do list is often long, so that I can help as many people as possible move toward getting their doing faster, more efficient, and better.
To be present, fully content, and not attached to a timeline, an outcome, or an end product, is a sea change for me.
Which is how I know I am changing - from inside.
This is the inner work at play. And it’s a continually surprising process.
I am becoming more, I am evolving. And I trust the process of my own becoming. And I trust it will come in perfect time. No forcing, no controlling, no impatience. It comes as I allow it to.
This is what a mindset shift looks like - and feels like - in real life. And I like it.
This feels like the start of something new, something more powerful than I’ve allowed before. Because I’m letting it take shape and become. I’m letting myself take shape and become.
I’m excited about this new mindset, this process of becoming, and of leaving it open for possibility. That feels powerful.
So how do you lay the groundwork for becoming? What are some steps for doing the inner work?
I’m not an expert in anything except my own experience, so that’s what I’ll share.
For me, my practice consists of taking simple steps daily to become a better person, on purpose. I have a standing date with myself every morning to note and celebrate what I’ve learned, especially what has come as a result of my mistakes, and to process feelings and situations beyond my control.
Here are the basics:
1. Practice gratitude: to all those who have been and are my teachers, including yourself.
You are continually becoming, and being here now and thanking even the painful experiences because they have helped you become who you’re ready to be now.
2. Forgive, and ask for forgiveness.
This includes looking at yourself. This practice is a game changer. For me, forgiveness is also an extension of the gratitude in #1 above. I do believe there is a higher purpose to everything that happens, and trust that even if you do not currently have the capacity to see and understand the gift or blessing in every situation, it’s there, and you will discover it when the time is right.
3. Be honest. Especially with yourself.
I look back, assess my thoughts, words, and actions, and take responsibility for what I’ve contributed toward what I am living and experiencing. While this one sounds heavy and dark, it’s become something I look forward to every day because when you take responsibility for what you contribute to your life and the world, you actually garner a sense of freedom and agency you wouldn’t, if you simply blamed others.
Taking responsibility also helps to free you from carrying around unproductive feelings and attitudes toward yourself and others. It helps you move into a different attitude, to clear space to see the possibilities in any situation. I intend to be a better me every day, and I have come to understand that - as with any other relationship - a better version of yourself begins with you, being honest.
The honesty practice grants me space and a lightness I carry into the day. I put this lightness and space to use as I go about my work. Often it’s because of this practice that I can hold kind, generous space for others - clients, friends, family, my partner - with full and complete presence. Self-honesty and practicing it with self-compassion has been the most influential (on myself and others) practice in my life and work, as it sets you up to be a far better listener and solution-finder than you would be without it.
4. Tune in and really listen to what is needed, and respond in kind.
I’m a committed, passionate person, which means that when I’m focused, I can easily lose track of things - time, how I feel, and what my body needs - in total absorption and pursuit of whatever I’m working on. I am a trained musician, so sticking with things and following them through is second nature to me by now, so practicing tuning in is a really new thing for me.
As a result of practicing tuning in on purpose every day, I’ve come to understand and go with allowing. I now let myself be guided. I still get into flow, letting go of time, but I now check in with myself constantly along the way.
How are you feeling? I ask.
Would you prefer something else right now?
Listen for the answers. Then, act according to the internal wisdom you receive back, including how your body wants to move, nourish itself, and feel. You can replace the “auto-pilot” previous tendencies of routines and pushing-through, to honor these cues, and respond however you’re inspired to respond.
All of these daily steps have made it possible for me to allow myself to be more of who I AM.
This feels very right, especially in times where everything is changing, uncertain, or different.
Being yourself, forgiving, accepting, and honoring yourself in new ways, feels right, even if you don’t always understand it. When you go with it, it makes all the difference.
—> When do you allow yourself to truly be?
—> What happens when you don’t allow yourself to be?